i know that no one reads this, but i just need to talk about some things.

first of all im pregnant... which wouldnt be so bad except that my ex decided he never wanted to marry me and became a jerk. so i left him. before i found out i was pregnant.

im not unhappy with that decision though. i think its better for my baby to be around love and happiness... even if that means i have to do this alone. i have a great support system with family and friends, but sometimes its still hard.

i hope that my baby realizes someday that i didnt go back to his or her father because i really believe that's the best decision for everyone involved. especially the baby.

so...

i can not for the life of me remember my facebook password. and it is driving my nuts. thought u should kno. not that anyone reads this. lol

Vanilla Water-Babies

"what does this smell like?" ~ Me

"JESUS"~ Geoff

"oh... wait..."~ Geoff

i hate some things about Cambridge.

when i lived in Paden City, i went on a walk every single day. i walked in the rain or snow, and i walked wherever i felt like walking. i would listen to my ipod and just forget about the day. most of the time, i would stop down at the docks by the river and just watch the water move. i took pictures of nature and watched the sun set over the river. i would usually walk for about 2 hours.

in Cambridge... it isn't safe to walk by myself... i have a feeling that i'm going to do it anyway because i hate feeling like i'm stuck in a cage and helpless. 

me

i love coffee

i love the sound of water running over pebbles.

i love watching snow... like glitter that melts...

i love rainstorms that make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up

i love hugs

i love having my hand held

i love music with passion behind it

i love to sing my heart out

i love theater

i love to take walks by myself

i love taking pictures of nature

i love animals... especially the cuddly ones

i love saint bernards  

i love to be by myself... but i hate to be alone

i love green

i love watching old disney movies

i love watching shirley temple or jerry lewis movies

i get sick very easily ever since i had mono

my favorite time of day is when the sun is setting

every single day... i look at my past and think of what went wrong so that i don't make the same mistakes

i try to be completely non-judgmental 

i love to spin in chairs

i love beef jerkey and green tea

Last night... as the wind was shaking my windows and keeping me up... i thought about my life

so much has changed.

i never see the people i used to.

it's like i'm living a completely different life.

sometimes i expect to wake up and everything will be as it used to be. i'll be living in paden city... with my old friends. i'll be taking daily walks by the river just thinking about how amazing God is. i'll have friends in all my classes in school, and i'll be someone who's known for being a good person and someone who's creative. 

my life has completely changed. 

every moment seems like a dream. some weird dream that doesn't seem like reality. 

it isn't a bad dream... my reality now is just so drastically different.... it's hard to believe i'm actually living the life i'm living.

so....
to anyone who doesn't know. i'm extremely happy with my life at the moment. (that could be partially due to the fact that i don't have to go to school for 2 weeks)

but i think it's mostly due to the fact that a lot of things are going well in my life. i'm almost halfway done with my senior year, i have a lot of friends (at church) and i have the most amazing boyfriend ever :)

every morning when i wake up... (which is a difficult thing for me to do)

i try to stop and think of every thing that has blessed my life in the past few months

so many wonderful people have entered my life and made me happer than i have been i quite some time.

I can't express my gratitude for my wonderful friends (especially Nick)

life is hard.

decisions are never easy.

school is incredibly frustrating sometimes (since i've been sick)

but the incredible people in my life make it so much easier.

today i was thinking about winter... and how so many people complain about the cold and ice, but i can't help but love everything about it.

especially snow...

this past Saturday it snowed all day, and i just sat at the window and stared...
when it snows... i get this feeling that i have somehow become enclosed in a giant snow globe that has magically come to life.

somehow... snow reminds me of how small i am compared to the rest of the world... and on Saturday... i couldn't have been more overjoyed to be reminded of my own insignificance.

when life hands you lemons....

make orange juice.

and people will wonder how on earth you did it.

My inquisitive mind

have you ever wondered how other people think?

have you ever actually tried to find the end of a rainbow?

do you feel sorry for fish that get caught? even if they aren't killed?

what exactly IS styrofoam?

why does snow taste so much better that rain?

what is it about glitter that fascinates people?

these are just some of the many questions that randomly pop into my head... and i actually take time to ponder these stupid questions that have seemingly no meaning...

the way that people view the world is fascinating to me... i think that's a major part in my love of reading. I get to look at the world from another persons perspective...

The Music Inside Me

I went to see Sweeney Todd last night... and I realized something.
I want..... no... I NEED to sing. And I need to act.

Why would God put this kind of passion in my soul if this isn't what I need to do? It physically hurts me not to perform.

This is how i express myself.

And I wouldn't give it up for the world.

"God's holy word
I will make it a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path
It's word may i hide in my heart... that i might not sin against God"

Take my hands lord; take my feet. Take my words lord; take my life song. Shape me to what you would have me be to glorify your kingdom.

Richard O.o

sometimes it's good to have fun and be crazy, but other times we need to stop and experience the beauty that God has put before us.

how many times can i break till i shatter?

I made one of my very best friends in the whole world very upset, and now i'm all depressed.



You know who u are... I'm really sorry

:(

Chuck is back

do not be fooled by his cute and cuddley apperance. He is my guard squirrel. And he is quite vicious.

Have You Ever

Have you ever looked at me and seen a sparkle in my eye?
Have you ever noticed I laugh much more than I cry?
Have you ever wondered why I smile so much?
Have you ever contemplated my gentle touch?
Have you ever thought about why all of this is true?
I'll tell you why my dear...

It's all because of you

i don't want to be the girl you loved....
and then was forgotten