i know that no one reads this, but i just need to talk about some things.

first of all im pregnant... which wouldnt be so bad except that my ex decided he never wanted to marry me and became a jerk. so i left him. before i found out i was pregnant.

im not unhappy with that decision though. i think its better for my baby to be around love and happiness... even if that means i have to do this alone. i have a great support system with family and friends, but sometimes its still hard.

i hope that my baby realizes someday that i didnt go back to his or her father because i really believe that's the best decision for everyone involved. especially the baby.

so...

i can not for the life of me remember my facebook password. and it is driving my nuts. thought u should kno. not that anyone reads this. lol

Vanilla Water-Babies

"what does this smell like?" ~ Me

"JESUS"~ Geoff

"oh... wait..."~ Geoff

i hate some things about Cambridge.

when i lived in Paden City, i went on a walk every single day. i walked in the rain or snow, and i walked wherever i felt like walking. i would listen to my ipod and just forget about the day. most of the time, i would stop down at the docks by the river and just watch the water move. i took pictures of nature and watched the sun set over the river. i would usually walk for about 2 hours.

in Cambridge... it isn't safe to walk by myself... i have a feeling that i'm going to do it anyway because i hate feeling like i'm stuck in a cage and helpless. 

me

i love coffee

i love the sound of water running over pebbles.

i love watching snow... like glitter that melts...

i love rainstorms that make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up

i love hugs

i love having my hand held

i love music with passion behind it

i love to sing my heart out

i love theater

i love to take walks by myself

i love taking pictures of nature

i love animals... especially the cuddly ones

i love saint bernards  

i love to be by myself... but i hate to be alone

i love green

i love watching old disney movies

i love watching shirley temple or jerry lewis movies

i get sick very easily ever since i had mono

my favorite time of day is when the sun is setting

every single day... i look at my past and think of what went wrong so that i don't make the same mistakes

i try to be completely non-judgmental 

i love to spin in chairs

i love beef jerkey and green tea

Last night... as the wind was shaking my windows and keeping me up... i thought about my life

so much has changed.

i never see the people i used to.

it's like i'm living a completely different life.

sometimes i expect to wake up and everything will be as it used to be. i'll be living in paden city... with my old friends. i'll be taking daily walks by the river just thinking about how amazing God is. i'll have friends in all my classes in school, and i'll be someone who's known for being a good person and someone who's creative. 

my life has completely changed. 

every moment seems like a dream. some weird dream that doesn't seem like reality. 

it isn't a bad dream... my reality now is just so drastically different.... it's hard to believe i'm actually living the life i'm living.

so....
to anyone who doesn't know. i'm extremely happy with my life at the moment. (that could be partially due to the fact that i don't have to go to school for 2 weeks)

but i think it's mostly due to the fact that a lot of things are going well in my life. i'm almost halfway done with my senior year, i have a lot of friends (at church) and i have the most amazing boyfriend ever :)