i was thinking about how horrible it seems to be alone, and how wonderful it is to know God is there. there used to be a time when i was alone and it didn't bother me. it just seemed normal to me, but now that i know what it feels like to have someone who understands me and i've lost it... sometimes it seems unbearable. maybe that's why i try to hold on so tightly, even though i know holding too tight just pushes people away. i need to refocus on the fact that God is there. that i'm not alone.
i need to focus on my friends who don't want to see my pain anymore. i'm a fairly happy person most of the time, but there always seems to be that one little voice in my head that constantly reminds me of rejection. i can't be consumed by that one voice anymore. i don't pretend to be over it, but i need to learn to focus on other things.
each day is a blessing, and i don't want to waste what time i have on things i can't change. life's too short.
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